Posted by I live in America with my Chinese boyfriend. We met while studying in California and have been living together for the past 2 years. We are in no rush, but we figure we’ll get married one day. Since we live in America we don’t have many culture problems as he was here for a few years before me and is very used to American/western culture.
I haven’t been to China and I haven’t met his parents, but we were thinking of maybe taking a trip next summer. But my family is telling me it’s too dangerous. They are sending me new stories about Canadians being detained at the border and lots of stuff with Trump fighting trade wars with China. Some people say that a war could break out?! I’ve never traveled further than Canada before (and that was a school trip) so obviously a trip to China is huge. Should I cancel my trip? I’d like to hear from someone in China about how safe it is.
Unless you are a high level diplomat or a CEO of a major corporation, then I wouldn’t worry too much. Yes, China and Canada are having some diplomatic issues (Canada detained a CFO from a major Chinese company on behalf of America, so then China retaliated by arresting high level Canadian diplomats) and yes, Trump seems to be publicly blaming China for the American economies woes. Certainly none of that is good news.
But it’s not the apocalyptic news your family might be scaring you with. After all, just ask your boyfriend. If there are problems between America and China is he afraid to live in America? Of course not. It’s same for most Americans living in China.
While the dangers and the stories of the rich and powerful dominate the headlines, there are hundreds of thousands of foreigners happily going about their day in both countries. And if I allow my cynical side to take over for a minute, each countries travelers are too important to the other countries economy for them to call an all out war.
But let’s take politics out for a minute and talk about you are your boyfriend. He might be very westernized and he might be very happy and used to a life in America, but he’s Chinese. There is a whole other side of him that you haven’t seen at all. You haven’t met his parents, his high school friends, haven’t been to his favorite restaurant or heard and seen him talking to people he has known his whole life. Seeing him in his childhood environment is important for you to really get to know him.
Also, even if you live in America for the rest of your lives, when you marry a Chinese guy, you marry China, and you will be connected to that country forever. You need to see it for yourself, and learn about it (and hopefully enjoy it!). Only knowing your boyfriend in America is only knowing half of him. If you truly love him and want to marry him someday, you’ll need to go to China with him to get to know him fully. And hopefully have fun in the process.
So don’t worry and go ahead and plan that trip!
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Good answer, Ms. Wai. My Chinese husband was basically comfortable in the United States. When we moved to Asia, I saw him in that environment and learned to know him better.